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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

To Be My Husband's Wife: Part 6

For the rest of the posts in this series, click here.

It's now November of 2009, which means that I am just one month away from my two year anniversary at this "job." And I have to say that I've never been happier. Staying at home allows me so much freedom and flexibility. I can work on my photography, schedule shoots at my convenience, and I have the time to do a good job for my clients. I can pursue any number of creative ventures, like finally learning to play piano, paint watercolors, and refinish furniture. I can keep my home the way I like it, clean, organized and welcoming.

We bought quite the fixer-upper when we got this castle, and being home means that I can put a lot of hours into transforming this house. If I was working fulltime, we'd either live and breathe renovations on the weekends, or the renovations would last for decades. This way we can get the bulk of the hard work done together, and then I can take over with the spackling, sanding, priming, painting, staining, etc. We've only been in the house for 19 months, but we've accomplished so much in that time.

And of course, I have the time to devote to this blog. :-) I've always loved writing, and this is the perfect outlet for me to do that, as well as document the transformation our house is going through.

I also mentioned that Lover's new job has him traveling quite a bit. When he was hired he was told it would be 25%, but in reality it's been closer to 30-35% travel. He goes all over the country, sometimes with lots of notice, and sometimes he literally comes home in the middle of the day, packs his bags and catches a plane an hour later. The fact that I am at home means that I can see him whenever he is free, and I can fit my schedule around his. If he's going in late that day, I can spend the morning with him. If he's going on a long road trip for a minimal amount of work, I'll tag along. We spend the trip hanging out and talking, then he'll drop me off at a coffee shop or a mall, do his work, then pick me up. That way I get to see him even when he puts in 12 hour days.

When his trips are more that a week or so, I usually get to tag along. The first year we went to New York City for two weeks, and had the time of our lives. Our dream is to move there someday, so that trip was a ton of fun. This year we went to Tampa Bay, and spent two weeks down in sunny Florida. The extra travel is perfect for me, as I grew up traveling all around, and I get bored staying in one place for too long.

Of course, there are still the people that make silly remarks. Just the other day I got "I could never just sit around at home all day, I'd be so bored." And yes, if I just sat around all day, I'd be bored too! Some people have an idyllic view of what I must do all day. The reality is that I work hard, but I also play hard too. And I think that balance is one of the reasons that I am so happy.

I also appreciate my husband more. Obviously, this would not be possible for me if he did not work hard to provide. Now I can appreciate the gift he's given me, and I can work hard to make his hard earned money go as far as possible.

But the most important reason, I think, that I stay home, is because of the benefit that it is to our marriage. Remember when I talked about how all I wanted was to be successful? Now I want a successful marriage. I've certainly got my work cut out for me. The National Center for Health Statistics recently released a report which found that 43% of first marriages end in separation or divorce within 15 years. This means that four out of every ten couples decide to call it quits before they reach their "crystal" anniversary.

Unfortunately, there are no statistics for the remaining 57% of couples who do not divorce within those 15 years. Are they happy? Are they still in love? Are they enduring this thing called marriage, or are they still wild about each other?

In this day and age, couples who enter into a marriage have a difficult time ahead of them. The statistics are apalling, making you wonder if anyone can succeed. A good friend of mine who is also a counselor once told me that she sits at weddings and wonders to herself how long it will be before that couple comes to her in the counseling room. Isn't that sad?

I now have the availability to be with my husband when he is free. I have the time to plan special events, to make our home our "nest", to know if there's something that needs to be improved in our marriage. I'm not exhausted from a long day at the office, nor am I too wrapped up in my own life to notice and appreciate him. And our marriage is better because of it.

My goal is to be able to say, now, and much, much later, that we have had a "successful" marriage. That we will reach the fifteen year mark and say "Here's to another blissful 15 years!" That people will remark that we look so in love, and ask if we are newlyweds. And that our answer will be, no matter how long it's been,



Mama Kat November 18, 2009 at 12:39 PM  

So refreshing to read about such a healthy marriage!! Thank you!

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