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Wednesday, September 16, 2009

To Be My Husband's Wife: Part 1

Hi, my name is Jenny, and I am a stay-at-home wife.

Does this surprise you? Are you curious about how this came to be? What is your reaction to this statement? I can tell you that a few years ago, my reaction would have been something akin to this:

“Wow, how antiquated and un-liberated. She must not be a very bright girl, because she obviously couldn’t accomplish anything else other than getting married and staying at home”

I believed that the only women who would choose to stay home were those who a) had no other choice (a la uber-conservative religions) b) didn’t have the “brains” to make something of themselves or c) were essentially “doormats” who served chauvinist men and allowed themselves to be bossed around by them.

If you had told me, just a few short years ago, that I would now be in my third year of marriage, and my second year of being a stay at home wife, I would have laughed at you. All of my life I was told that I was an exceptional person, capable of accomplishing great things, that I was destined to excel. I considered many different careers, excelled in academics, and scoffed at my girlfriends who wanted to get married and settled down.

Then I met my husband. Or rather, I re-met him. We were childhood friends who reconnected after I moved back from Europe to go to college in the States. Our friendship naturally progressed to a romantic relationship, and we were soon talking about marriage.

I couldn’t believe myself. I felt like I was betraying all that I had been brought up to be. I mean, I had great potential, remember? I was going to make something of myself. But my feelings were betraying me. Suddenly I found myself wanting nothing more than to make a life with this man, to have a home together, to face the world as a unified team.


P.S. Come back next week for part two in my story of how I ended up becoming a stay-at-home wife.


Emily September 16, 2009 at 10:33 AM  

There are days when being a stay at home wife sounds like bliss! But we have financial goals for now and those include me working so that hopefully we can arrange a schedule so that our future kids won't need daycare. Can't wait to hear the rest - and how you arrived at your current situation.

CHeL September 16, 2009 at 12:40 PM  

Every marriage is different, even Christian ones. I'm glad that you were enlightened to find "option d" (something like - not a doormat and chose to stay home?) and enjoy it. I can't wait to read the rest of the story.

Personally, I enjoy working in a Christian ministry. I feel somewhat protected, compared to working in the business world. Now that I'm married, I think about working just part-time, allowing more time to take care of things at home. We shall see what the future holds.

JennyMac September 16, 2009 at 12:59 PM  

Such a great tribute Jenny!

Kim @ NewlyWoodwards September 16, 2009 at 7:52 PM  

Can't wait to hear more. This is really interesting to me.

Mrs. 5C September 16, 2009 at 8:45 PM  

I am very interested to hear your story! My husband was a stay-at-home husband for about 6 months. When we started saving for our house and then doing home improvements, he started working again. I look forward to the day he'll be staying home with the future kids and we'll have something better than hot dogs for dinner. ;)

jen September 22, 2009 at 9:17 PM  

I was actually amazed at how many people asked me about working once I got married…they assumed that I would continue, and I guess it is the norm that both husband and wife work. But I have to say that I am SO glad to be blessed to be a stay at home wife!! I wouldn't trade it for any job in the world.

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